The Dr. Lam Show

Crappy to Happy with Dom Brightmon

November 14, 2021 Dr. Lam
The Dr. Lam Show
Crappy to Happy with Dom Brightmon
Show Notes Transcript

It's important to be a champion of your mental health during this pandemic. This interview gives you the tools on how to interact with your stressful environment and improve yourself.

4:00 - Make a pocket of peace and a pocket of productivity in your stressful environment.
7:15 - How to develop rock solid mental attitude
7:45 - RAVE - R stands for Read
10:00 - A for Audio Immersion
12:40 - V for Visual Stimulation
16:20 - E for Encouragement

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Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

Hi, welcome to The Dr. Lam show. I have Dom Brightmon. He's an award winning speaker and he will talk to us about how to develop a rock solid positive mental attitude and how to go from crappy to happy. As we know that we have a lot of patients listening who have undergone a lot of stress and they feel really bad. A lot of healing is in mental health and how to have more optimism about their health. When you think happy, you will also be happy and your physical health will improve. Dom is the author of Going North: Tips and Techniques to Advance Yourself and Stay the Course: Elite Performers 7 Secret Keys to Sustainable Success. He is also a contributing author of the upcoming book Crappy to Happy: Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy, which I would love to talk to you about. So welcome Dom to The Dr Lam Show. Tell me a little about yourself and how you've come to this whole journey that you've been on.

Dom Brightmon:

Thank you Dr Lam for having me on your show. Appreciate the work that you and your team do at your clinic as well, because healthcare workers are heroes in this time of crisis that we can't seem to escape.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

I know it's pretty crazy right now. The prayers out there.

Dom Brightmon:

The good thing about crazy during these moments is really becoming champions, because the thing about Christ is it allows you to become the champion that you're meant to be. And that's kind of how I got to where I am currently today. So, a little bit about myself. I grew up a church boy in the wonderful land of charm, crime and crab cakes known as Baltimore, Maryland. US of A. We do love crab cakes. We do love being charming and of course, as all big cities, crime is gonna happen. We also have the Baltimore Ravens and Orioles. Growing up in that wonderful city, having two lovely parents, a father who was a veteran who fought in World War II and in the Korean War and a loving mother. She had a master's degree in psychology and was all about making sure that she helped as many people as she can especially learn as much as she can. As a result, she was my first ever real unofficial/official, public speaking coach/life coach and taking her example and what she's given me to be able to really use my voice and to continue to use it. And to help others using it as well. Just doing some stuff in church growing up and getting into college taking a public speaking course, and then Toastmasters International, where I truly had the opportunity to not only develop my messages, but also get a nice sandbox opportunity to practice leadership in a volunteer organization.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

That's great. Whatever you've learned, you're trying to teach other people too. So having grown up, in, like you said, in crime land, oh, how do you develop or are become strong, how do you use your mental attitude and how do you teach people to get over their environment? Because sometimes people are under really stressful environments? How would they change their mental attitudes to be able to adapt to them?

Dom Brightmon:

That is a powerful question because it's so darn true. A lot of our success depends on the environment that we're in, and how you act in that environment. It is like the concrete jungle, for those who may live in concrete jungles is best to try to swing through if you don't actually live in them. And if you live on them, you basically have to make sure you find pockets of peace. So one thing I like to advise people to do is try to find your pockets of peace. Because every single day, we're gifted 24 hours. No matter how rich or poor you are, we still have 24 hours in a day, seven days a week. And we have the same amount of time. What you do with that time is gonna separate you from the rest of the world. Those that are elite performers, they know how to get the most out of their day, and they direct their attention throughout the day, to the areas that help them to be the best that they can. And if you can find your own pocket a peace that's 5, 10, 15 or 30 minutes a day, dial in meditation, some deep breathing, or just doing something that you love. That'll help you out, especially if you can find a pocket of production as well where If you dedicate time for some self improvement. For example, with you in the medical field you learn and stay up to date with all the crazy stuff going on and the wonderful opportunities that are out there in integrative medicine. So, you got to stay on the cutting edge of everything by having not only a pocket of peace for yourself, but also a pocket of productivity and production time where you're doing something to better yourself. Even though your environment is powerful, you want to try to make sure your environment is really setting up for success. If you're not there yet fully have those two pockets in your life, throughout the days every day and try to schedule them if you can, especially, if you can get them the same time of day, if you can, that'll really put you at your worst the cutting edge of your life and being the best version of yourself.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

That's great. Yeah, to set aside that time, and to be able to find that pocket of peace, I think is important. A lot of times, our patients are people listening to us, they are go getters, they are type a people with busy lives and their whole day is filled. And so I like how you said to be able to schedule, time aside to do something you love or to just breathe. Breathing is so important to calm the sympathetic response of our busy schedule and you stop and ask why am I doing this, what are my goals, what am I happy about, what are my joys in life? And so finding that pocket of peace is really important. If you don't have 30 minutes, you can change it into a habit like, people practice mindfulness, for example. For me, in between patients that I see, I just take a moment and I take a deep breath so I am present for the next patient. That's also another way of developing that mental attitude for each that you're setting aside your time intentionally for each person. Do you have any other tips on how to develop this rock solid, positive mental attitude, especially those in stressful environment or relationships. What are the ways that they can set aside this time or other ways of changing their mental attitude?

Dom Brightmon:

I got these four cookies for crappy to happy and I like to call it the rave method, R in rave stands for reading, reading great material. If you're able to read is the beautiful thing is you get to explore different worlds, your mind gets to explore and they give your mind the break if you're reading fiction. Even those listening if they love reading romance novels, if that's your thing, go ahead, read whatever is good for you. If you like a good self help book or good leadership book like myself, that will empower you and feel charged up. Sometimes I've read some great books that energized me, like a book by a Japanese businessman Kazuo Inamori which I must have read about five years ago and I still remember by the time I finished the first few chapters, I just felt energized and ready to take on the world. So just reading great material specially from folks who know how to really put their voice and their personality into their words and their writing that way can influence you because a book is a piece of their mortality that someone has put out there. It's their research of their actual lives that gave them biographies like that as well. For those who say don't have time to read is like, that could be in your pocket of productivity/pocket a production time, we're doing something that will actually help benefit you.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

And education I always say is really key to even healing because you have to have knowledge in order to know what to do with your health. A lot of times we just defer to the doctor to know everything but sometimes the doctor might not know. You have to definitely be an advocate of your own health. You have to read and have that knowledge base, to know what your health is about. So I like that are for reading. What does A stand for?

Dom Brightmon:

A is for audio immersion which is basically immersing yourself in great audio material. So this podcast is definitely in that category. Listen to a great audiobook. One person I recommend is Dr. Allison JK. She's a doctor who talks about what she calls 'clearings'. I like the way she does it, its like reverse affirmation. So if any of your listeners have had been through a guided meditation, they are guided through some breathing activity and subconscious programming. So, her clearing or audio programs are similar to that, but in the reverse and generate an abundance mentality. For example, if you say money is the root of all evil, and I got to avoid it, she will say, money loves me, and money is a great tool to advance me forward. So basically, just taking the negative connotation, saying at first what your mind may be programmed to think then saying no afterward, and then programming your mind to think in a different way. That's one of the things we learn through the five senses, what we see hear, taste, touch, smell. And of course, the hearing is the most important piece, especially for those who may not be able to see, what you hear is what you're eventually going to become. So that's why audio immersion is number two in this rave method. Because it's always great to read some great material, but also, what you listen to is important because it is what you'll eventually become. Words are powerful, too, I'm sure, you probably remember some times where you've had a great mentor, great teacher, or a family member that said, some encouraging words to you, Dr. Lam. And that really helped you to go on for a lifetime and keep reaching for more. And there's probably some times or someone may have said something negative to you that you still remember from probably decades ago, even if it's been 10 or 15 years. So that's why audio immersion is important. You focus on things and listen to something that are better for you and benefit you.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

That's why we started The Dr. Lam Show so that it can really reach so many more people to empower and educate, through not only reading articles that we have, but also to listen to them. It's much easier to listen sometimes when you're on a drive or in traffic or you're walking. It's much safer to listen than to write. What does V stand for?

Dom Brightmon:

The V stands for visual stimulation. Our eyes can capture over a billion images all at once. We can easily remember popular logos. For example, the Nike swoosh, the golden arches of McDonald's or the Starbucks green mermaid on the cups. Images can stay in our minds for a long time. With a wonderful vision in your mind, you can push yourself forward and manifest into a future truth. You definitely have power, we all have that power to the power of image and the power to visualization. And it also depends on what we decide to put in front of our eyes on the daily like with YouTube, the TV, the smartphone. With the smartphones, we have access to so many things both good and bad, but we can keep scrolling our life away. You have the choice to scroll through great content, YouTube have some great content on there. I use YouTube daily for entertainment and educational purposes, but also social media as well. Sometimes if you do too much of that, then that'll be all that's on your mind as opposed to you actually taking some time out doing some self visualization and having an image in your mind that you hold within your mind that you want to manifest as a future truth for your life. So visual stimulation is the V in the rave method. So basically, reading great material, having great audio listening to great stuff every day, and making sure that your eyes are focused on something positive every day whether it's flowers, in your own garden, or if you're growing vegetables which is something positive. Because this mind is a garden, we have to tend to daily. And with this wonderful attention management air we're in where everything's vying for your attention, make sure that your eyes are attending to things that will benefit you and those around you. So that way, you won't have to pull out as many weeds.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

That's true, if you see it every day, you're not going to have to wait a few months to fill up that weeds. And I love how you, you said vision is not only physically seeing stuff, but it's to find what is your vision for the future and what do you see yourself becoming? And how do you visualize your health and how functional you are? Because when you have that vision, then you're definitely going to strive towards that. There are actually some studies where they show people do visual and guided imagery before they go into surgery, so they think about the surgery and how it's going to turn out really well. And it actually has been studied to have lower blood loss and have been much better outcomes when people visualize the surgery ending up well and doing well. And so that's amazing how vision and can really make a difference in your health and your outcome. That's great. What's next?

Dom Brightmon:

The E is for encouragement, encouraging yourself and others. There's a reason why I say encouraging yourself and others because one of the things that we tend to forget and another reason why self care is so preached a lot nowadays is because sometimes, you have to encourage yourself before you encourage others. Sometimes you have to remember to encourage others so that way you too, can be encouraged yourself. Because it's like the classic metaphor when you light another candle with your candle, you don't lose your flame, they gain some fire too, and you don't lose any of yours. So that classic analogy ties in perfectly with encouragement because of someone's living and breathing. They need encouragement. I still remember one time in particular years ago, it was a test I had to take, and the professor said, Dom, you ever got an A in my tests before? This was at a Bible classes back in the day and I said, no I never did and he said how about, if you pass this test, I will buy your lunch tomorrow. He saw that I could do it because one, there wasn't a lot of concept for this test, which is out of the norm for him and, two, he figured that you have the gift and all you probably just need is the proper bribery or encouragement. So I got a perfect score in that test because that was the power of encouragement.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

I definitely agree that encouragement is huge in healing and helping a mental attitude and even in relationships and getting to where you need to get to. In telemedicine we encourage our patients to participate in their own health, to gain education, to find out what's the root cause of their problems and get better and all this is through ncouragement, like you said. We even found in our fatigue upport groups they come together and they encourage each other be ause sometimes they don't ne d a doctor telling them what to o. They need each other and ever one is going through the same issues. So it's very encourag ng to see them talking to each ther and supporting each oth r. So we've learned a lot abou the RAVE, four keys to optimism from crappy to happy. And just to reiterate that R is for read ng, A for audio, V for visual l arning and then E for encourag ment. Di I get that right?

Dom Brightmon:

You got it right four pack abs for Dr. Lam. Thank you.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

Dom, thank you so much for this learning and for this encouragement. So, how do people find you if they wanted to get a hold of you?

Dom Brightmon:

Please look at my website dombrightmon.com and be sure subscribe to the Go North podcast popular worldwide, there are stories out there and live my motto advance others to advance yourself. And check it all out on dombrightmon.com. If you want to learn more about Dom and if this is your first time listening to Dr. Lam show, be sure to subscribe for more content especially their wonderful advice about the good health too.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD:

So like, subscribe, we'll see you next episode.

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