The Secret to Weight Loss with Renee Jones

If you're dealing with emotional baggage and can't seem to get the weight off both mentally and physically, listen to this episode on the Dr. Lam Show with Guest speaker Renee Jones on practical tools that can help you overcome emotional eating and get your weight off for good.

3:10 - How to deal with emotional baggage
5:20 - Reduce stress and emotional eating
6:30 - Breathing and doing something different
8:30 - Why do diets fail?
11:00 - Sugar cravings and insulin
14:00 - How to get over cravings
14:45 - Find what works for your body and unpack baggage
18:50 - How to do cheat day
21:15 - Dopamine reward connects to Microbiome
24:00 - Get the HANG of Emotional Eating

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» YouTube: Renee Jones

Transcript

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 0:06

Welcome to The Dr. Lam Show. I'm Dr. Carrie and I have Renee Jones with me, she spent 40 years on the yo yo diet until she learned to overcome emotional eating. It helped her lose weight and keep it off since 2012. She has a master's degree in marriage and family counseling, clinical residency, and also did a TEDx talk. She utilizes a lot of traditional and contemporary models to help with relaxation, and win at losing extra weight. So I love this slogan, when we face our stuff, we no longer need to stuff our faces. A lot of our patients have issues with losing weight, and it is mostly related to stress, or emotion. I'm so glad you're here that we can talk to you. So, how did you actually come to overcoming emotional eating? What was your journey like?

Renee Jones: 1:08

Well, my first diet was when I was 10, and we don't rag on my mother because she thought she was helping me. But unfortunately, she wasn't any better at it than I was. We just struggled along, for years and finally, on New Year's Day of 2012, I was staring down my 50th birthday. And I thought, that if I don't lose it before I turn 50, it'll never happen. Okay, I didn't know much then. So I started out on my diet, on January 1 and two weeks later, I had to start again. And then first of February, I had to start again in March. By April, I actually had put on weight, had to buy a bigger size. I hadn't been that size in years when I actually hoped this will go in the other direction. So I got on the internet to do some research and I didn't find much that was helpful, other than, only eat when you are hungry. Then I came across this lady who had a coaching practice, and I enrolled in her course. There were some good information that helped me understand about my problem of emotional eating. And there are particular foods that make it worse. So I worked with her, talking about reducing weight for a while. But importantly, we got into all the other stuff that drives the behavior that made such a difference to me. I reached my goal weight the week before my 50th birthday and I am there for the last nine years.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 3:05

Awesome, so as you said it was not just focusing on the weight and the numbers, but the baggage that comes with it, the emotions. Tell us a little bit more about that.

Renee Jones: 3:18

Every time we get really stressed, we're trying to soothe ourselves. So when we get upset, frustrated, mad or sad, we want something to soothe ourselves. And food is easy. It starts at birth, when a baby cries, we feed them. In fact, I have this little thing called the pacifier which I taped to my refrigerator when I was trying to lose my weight. I thought that's all you want. A baby is given a pacifier in the mouth or bottle or breast because it is soothing. Unfortunately, with time, we replace the pacifier with a doughnut, or pizza which now becomes the object that is soothing. The long term consequences of that, gets us in trouble.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 4:20

I love that analogy, because I have a newborn and I've been using the pacifier a lot. I think I know where the word hangry comes from, because they cry and they're angry when they're hungry. Then you try to pacify them with something whether the pacifier or the nipple, food, keeps them happy. So there's that connection with 'I'm angry, I'd get food and then I'll be happy. So this is definitely from birth. That's a very interesting concept.

Renee Jones: 4:56

Yeah, the key for you will be to transfer from that when the child gets older, to something other than food, to keep them happy, and self soothe. This will set them up so well for their lives.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 5:14

That's great. So how does the emotional eating begins from childhood? You talked about stress. Everyone deals with stress. Nowadays, we have the neuro endo metabolic stress response that we talk about, where stress affects your whole body, your organs, your systems, your hormones, and your gut. How is it related to eating? How do we create this emotional eating from stress?

Renee Jones: 5:48

We are trying to soothe, to make that emotion go away. And very often what we do is we block our feelings or emotions, and follow it with a food chaser. We keep putting something in our mouth. A, it gives us something to chew, and B, it helps us breathe. Because one of the best stress busters is just a good deep belly breath, because it calms us, and we feel better. But instead we find that taking fried food is easier.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 6:24

So how do we manage this stress? The breathing and choosing something different. To see if we can do anything about the stress right now, if the boss is being difficult, or there are too many things to do right now. Yesterday, I was talking to a client about this and she said, the reason for her stress gets stuck in the head and I said, to go back into the body and focus on the breathing. Even if you take three long, connected breaths, way down into your belly, not just in your upper lobes, it gets all the air in and out. And, you know, one of the things that I've been told recently, is that the way we get rid of fat is primarily through the breath, it comes out on our breath. So if we're breathing deeper and longer, there are books out there that talk about it, that if you breathe deeply, and change it from upper chest down into those deep lobes, then you will expel more and you don't have to do as much work to lose the weight. And it's also relaxing. Yes, very relaxing. I definitely recommend all my patients to do adrenal breathing, where you lower, your diaphragm. The diaphragm is where the vagal nerve is connected. Vagal is in charge of the parasympathetic response which is the de stressor of your body. The one where it's rest and digest not the fight or flight that we're always fighting against. So deep breathing is key in all recovery and also for stress, emotional eating and fatigue. So why does everyone go on a diet? Like we said, you keep trying and fail repeatedly. What's the number one reason that they fail? Let's go back to the way we ate before. After 40 years of eating the way I wanted to, and then once I hit my goal, after making some lasting change, if we avoid going back to old habits, then it's more likely we will maintain our weight loss. There are certain foods that we love eating, but we either have to control eating those, or get rid of them. Some ingredients like sugar is instantly addictive. I only found out after I broke my addiction to it. Two years ago at Christmas, we were at my husband's family's house and there was a plate in front of me with sweets treats like pie cake and cookies. We already learned how sugar makes me cranky and so I kept a distance from it. If I choose to have sugar, I've got to monitor myself for a couple of days as it probably affects my blood sugar. Yeah, we see that a lot. I have to pay attention, so that I don't snap at someone who doesn't deserve it just because I'm high on sugar.

Renee Jones: 10:24

Finding the foods that affect us, and managing those, and then making sure we get plenty the food that is good for us, is key. Join the program you like. I have the one that works for me, but we're all very different. So find what suits you and don't worry about other people's opinion. As everybody's different, you've got to find the thing that you enjoy, you can live with, and works for your body.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 10:55

A personalized approach is very important. And, you know, you're talking about sugar cravings, which we see a lot in our adrenal fatigue patients. It is because sugar makes your body release insulin, which tells the body to put glucose into the cells and not into the blood anymore. Therefore, when you eat sugar, you have a quick spike, followed by a rapid crash. This crash is what causes you to behave angry and hungry again in the next one or two hours. And then you are hungry again.

Unknown: 11:38

I have a question about that. So, when there is glucose, insulin going into your blood, it closes the cells, it's almost like a barrier around the cells. So things can go in, but nothing can go out. Is that true?

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 12:02

Well, insulin specifically brings glucose into the cells and not take it out. Therefore, if you bring glucose into the cells, nothing is usable in the blood, and therefore, you feel the sugar crash. First the sugar comes out, and then the body feels the need to produce insulin to bring the glucose into the cells. But then, when you bring it in too fast, you feel hungry again, really quickly. Also, the fat cells can't release when there's insulin flowing around, because everything's going in so you can't release fat. That means if you make sure that you allow your body to rest between meals rather than having snacks, the insulin level in blood remains high and you can't let go of fat, Not just the insulin, but also if the receptors become insulin resistant due to excess fat, the glucose fails to enter th cells from the blood. And so therefore, you get diabetes, ecause the glucose stays in you blood. So down the line you have to be mindful and liste to your body's warnings abou these sugar cravings. So ho do you overcome these cravin s and be faithful to your goals

Renee Jones: 14:02

Firstly, find what's driving the behavior? What is it that's upsetting you? What kind of baggage is jumping up looking for attention when you are stuffing food in your mouth. Because if we don't pay attention to that, it can become grief or depression. And we don't need any more of that. So one of the things that I do is, help my clients, have a three step process for your body. Finding what works for your body is key. In my process I had a color coded chart to help me find what I needed for my body and then unpack some of the baggage. Your baggage affects everything that you do. So if we can unpack those experiences you had, take them apart and try to unload. Find the things that are keeping you strapped down, then you're going to be able to the third step of reconnecting with your best self. I don't know about you, but when I'm in my best self, I make better choices. I'm not making a choice based on, I feel upset today, feel sad today, I'm stressed or I just want to eat. I decide, okay I'm stressed and so what can I do?

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 15:28

Yes, finding the tools to be able to recognize the stress and the associated baggage. Yeah, I already know what happens, if I keep going down that path. I'll keep gaining weight, get diabetes, might lose toes and limbs, I might die early, suffer a stroke. None of these are acceptable and so, we find alternatives, Then not only would we live longer, but live better, live well, for the rest of our lives. That's great. We all want to have that anti aging, live optimally good life, not depressed or in a wheelchair. Its crucial to manage cravings. A craving is telling you something. I mean, when you're pregnant, you probably had cravings, for things that your body needed. Now, those are valid. But there are also those cravings just because our body wants them. Six years ago, I gave up sugar. And it was really hard because I was a sugar fiend. You put sugar on everything. I made a rule for myself, that I will have sugar only on Sundays, just to try to cut it back. And by the time it's Wednesday, I might be standing in my pantry staring at some chocolate chips. But I kept saying only sugar on Sundays and managed to make it through to the following Sunday. Some of it is just breaking the habit. One Sunday at work, I had a small Reese's Peanut Butter Cup with a cup of tea, and after 30 minutes, the sugar effect would kick in. My colleague would ask if I'm okay, just looking at me. That's when I realized what sugar was doing to me. So, I just let it taper off. My family members love sugar, so I informed everyone about my Sunday rule which people slowly accommodated with. They keep you accountable too That's right because sometimes people do suggest that breaking the rule just this once won't hurt. However, it will be harmful. If you control your cravings and save it for one day, then you enjoy it more and you pay attention to it. I tell my clients, if there's a food that you just have to have, because it will drive you crazy then have it. Otherwise, create a lovely ambiance, like decorate your table with a tablecloth, candles, cutleries and sit down to eat. You will focus on the food and enjoy every bite and the flavor of the food. Pay attention to the meal and it will have a better effect compared to when you're rushing to eat, throwing the wrapper. That is just sneaking food. So if it's that important to you, take the time to enjoy it. Great mindful eating.

Renee Jones: 19:51

Yes, mindful eating makes a difference. Think of the time at the movies when we finish our popcorn in the first five minutes, because you weren't paying attention. Whereas if you actually enjoy every bite, you notice that you've had it. Like Oprah used to tell the story about going to France. And she bought two croissants, because she knew she would eat the first one immediately and she wanted to enjoy the second one. So what if you just focussed on enjoying the first one?

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 20:31

Yeah. You don't overeat.

Renee Jones: 20:33

Yes we tend to overeat a lot, when we're eating on autopilot. If you're going to eat on autopilot, or swallow something whole, you may as well be eating celery, because you'll enjoy it just as much.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 20:53

Hopefully, we can change our taste buds like that, but definitely, I think that's great. Giving a tool for saying there's boundaries for when you have those cravings, and also, be mindful when you are eating just makes you really appreciate the food. Like you said, comfort foods like sugar, cheese, bread, or noodles, trigger the dopamine pathway in your brain. And your gut is very, very closely related to your brain, due to gut brain axis. So when I have a craving, it's my microbiome talking. Because, you know, we have this, microbiome, which is the gut bacteria which determines our food cravings. And so whatever you eat, you're feeding the gut bacteria. So if you keep feeding it something like sugar, then they're going to continue to want the sugar. The gut microbiome actually produces a lot of the byproducts like neurotransmitters, that help communicate and determine your mood, depression, anxiety, a lot of it can be connected to your gut, your cravings, and addictions. And so, in order to mitigate that, it's to feed your gut bacteria, the right things. If you feed the cravings instead, like more sugar or processed food, then the effect will be harmful. There's always good foods that you can overcome with which may take time, because you have to train your microbiome to get used to this type of food.

Renee Jones: 22:55

And our food manufacturers have gotten really wise with the bliss point. So that perfect combination of sugar, fat and salt. Ah, you know, mother in law's sent home something with my husband one time, and it was a really large container of salted roasted nuts and I said please do leave me alone with that. So he did. And then he was going on a trip and he put in the pantry. I hid it away so it is out of my sight and therefore my mind. Those nuts are addictive, a perfect combination of sugar, fat and salt that you just cannot get enough. It's what they figured out about us and gave us what we said we wanted. But that's why we can't eat just one or two but continue until we're either sick or it's gone.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 24:06

Yeah, so I like that tool of putting it away to overcome their cravings, That way you can distract yourself. Overcoming emotional eating isn't really hard. But we do have to get the hang of it. And hang is an acronym. H for hungry- if you're hungry, ask if you can wait till dinner. A for attraction - why are you attracted to a particular food? Are there memories or cravings. N is for need - Do you really need the food or would a hug instead is what you actually need. Do you need to talk to a friend, play with the dog or stroke the cat or go for a walk? or need some air? G is for go get - go get that, because that will satisfy you more than that food ever possibly could. That's a great acronym. So are you really hungry, what is the attraction, what do I need and go get what I actually need. That's really great. Thanks so much, Renee. We really have gone through so much about overcoming emotional eating, to lose the weight and maintain the loss. How to find what drives a person to comfort food and to reduce stress and distract yourself from that by getting a hang of it. How can people get hold of you, Renee. You do offer coaching?

Renee Jones: 26:06

Yes, both coaching and counseling. Find me at packyourownbag.com or follow me on Instagram or Facebook: Pack Your Own Bag.

Dr. Carrie Lam, MD: 26:25

That's great. I'll definitely be sending some people over. Renee is based in Texas, but has got clients all over the world. We can definitely network and help a lot of people overcome their emotional eating. So thank you. Thank you for being on the Dr. Lam show. We're here to empower people to take control of their health. If you liked Renee, go find her at her website. And if you want to subscribe for more shows, definitely hit the like and subscribe button and we will let you know what episodes are coming out next too. So we hope to see you next time. Thank you.

Unknown: 27:16

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